Lee Gale

Dad sent me out to buy a car one day in a very, very Flash Harry sort of rock’n’roll way. Just said, “Go and find a car.” And I was like, “OK.” I came back with a giant, pearlised-green Ford Granada. The front seats were like giant sofas. It was automatic and I drove it around London for about a year.

So one day before training Gazza decided that he’d pop into Paradise Wildlife Park, which was near where he lived, and borrow an ostrich, like you do.

There was no hurrying Amy Winehouse. Maybe there was no pathway, really. When you sign a new artist, a young artist, they haven’t got that much experience. You put them in studios with writers and you work with different producers. With Amy, there wasn’t any of that.

A decision needs to be made. The Stranglers or Elvana? Elvana – an Elvis impersonator fronting a band playing Nirvana tracks sounds perplexing on paper but interest piqued, we gather at the Second Stage – and wooooo!

Crowd I was going around with, it was like Fagin and Oliver Twist. We stole things to make money. But everybody did same thing. First idea that came to mind when we’re coming up with a band name was The Bridewell Taxis.

Audi is doing great cars. They have a good image. BMW is for guys with a moustache and long hair at the back. Mercedes is for old men with hats.

The boy-band thing, that’s way out there on the peripheral of my vision – I would never have a reason to come into contact with it. Boy bands to me are almost like a rumour.

There’s no escape from homework if you want to progress in karate and the more I flicked through my diary, it became clear that practice away from the dojo in December was going to be limited between boozy get-togethers and festive parties.

By the time I’d put the key in the front door, I’d made my decision to quit. I couldn’t keep up, I struggled to follow simple instructions, my hip was bothering me and making movement difficult, I was looking like a prat, I was holding up the entire dojo and there was no way I was good enough to shift up a belt. I was through, done, ex-karate.

I talk to the players and for me you’ve got to make players confident. They’ve also got to believe in what you’re asking them to do. They’ve got to see that it works. Do we want to see football that’s pleasing to the eye, or do we want to watch some winning football?