Lee Gale

Five weeks after I last set foot in the dojo (to receive my red belt… Yessss, I’m a red belt!), it was time to start the hard work again.

The dojo was different this week. There was a table at the front for the use of officialdom. We lined up – and an hour and a half of karate sheepdog trials began. What was interesting was that the hours spent going through moves for the past 13 weeks seemed to slot into place.

When I should have been practising my kata shodan and hammer-blow block/thumps before karate, I instead spent an hour and a half learning how to correctly tie my gi up properly. Even the belt has its own spiritually derived system

With eight kids alongside me in the class tonight, we got the ball rolling with five press-ups… Five press-ups for everyone in the room tonight: 9×5=… 45? Huh? I managed 40; possibly 39.

Week 10 was without doubt the toughest exercise I’ve done since I went on the Tough Guy endurance challenge in Wolverhampton in 2001. Within 20 minutes of a brutal warm-up at karate, colour had started to disappear from my vision. A white out? What even is a white out?

When you’re 50 and the next youngest person in the class is 13, nobody wants to be your partner. That toe with a nail-bed infection does me no favours… But it’s improving! I’m on the third month of tablets already!

Today was hot – 28°C. I’d been in shorts all day and I was in a bind whether I should wear my joggers or not (with the England shirt). In the end I went for the long trousers and a baggy T-shirt with the slogan Co-op People Who Care. Christ! I’ve never seen sweat through trousers before!

Last week was The Queen’s Platinum Jubilee so karate was put on hold. Dad visited from the icy wastelands of the North (South Yorkshire) and when I should have been finding time to practise my kata kihon at home, we were watching Lionel Messi at Wembley.

I’ve pretty much figured out that karate runs at a pace where you can barely keep up. You’re shown moves but before you feel comfortable with the manoeuvres, you’re told to bloody well get on with them. And I think that approach works. It keeps you on your toes (more on that shortly).

Again the hour tonight was total stress-busting heaven – and we finished with COMBAT! Yes, a bit of aggro!