WEEK 45: I Can’t Get No Sleep

 

One of the problems of karate training in the evening is that when I’m back home, I can’t settle or switch off. I eat my tea (always salmon and roast potatoes that night), have a glass of red or three, make some karate notes in my big writing pad and then shuffle off to bed – whereupon I get all Maxi Jazz: insomnia please release me and let me dream; I can’t get no sleep.

This week was the worst yet. I barely slept all night after the later-in-the-week session. When I nodded off, I briefly dreamt that I was working for a company that didn’t know what line of business it was in and when I asked, “Well, what the hell should I do?”, I was informed, “Just go and do something and make some money – if not, you’re out.” Anxiety. Then I let out a large snore and was awake once more.

A quick scan of Google and the results are alarming. I’m probably badly dehydrated. I don’t drink water in the dojo in case it slows me down – but I should. Wine afterwards is no doubt the worst thing I could do to unwind. And after strenuous exercise your body temperature is raised and you need to cool off. Rather than be sprayed with a hosepipe in the back garden like a London Zoo elephant, I might try a shower when I get in and see if that helps. And I tend to go to bed still caked in sweat, albeit dried. That’s not very nice, is it?

My two weeks not drinking before my first fight hasn’t gone to plan (at all), but the one week off begins imminently. I need to be clear-headed for quick thinking and lightning flash action when I enter the dojo of dreams next weekend – and then when it’s all over I can have a bottle of red. I’ll be taking part in both kumite and kata categories; the former is fighting, the latter a sort of dressage on two legs. I’ve opted for kata heian sandan, the latest of our routines, mainly because it’s easier than nidan, which I’m still lousing up under pressure.

The sensei told me to park the katas for the short-term and get onto some blocking homework – two for jodan (face), two for chudan (chest) and various arm swings and slapdowns to resist the many different types of kicking.

As the turnout was slim this week in the church hall, I had practically a one-on-one session trying out a few more combat techniques, one of which was the leg hook. This is where you trip an opponent up and then fly in with a punch. It’s easier said than done with arthritic knees and hips. I tried it on a work colleague the following day and his leg remained resolutely in place. Maybe one for fighting lighter teenagers! But you must remember: mirror your opponent’s stance.

Also constantly change attack from head to chest to kicking. This is not a boxing match. And you can’t just kick someone in the leg. You’ll lose a point if you do that; it has to be performed in a recognisable karate style. If it’s a draw – make sure you’ve scored the first point. That way you’ll win. I’m nervous, but I’m going to enjoy it.

I remain slow, cumbersome and at times borderline bloody hopeless. But I have willing and I really, really want to improve. Getting enough sleep and decent rest has to be part of that – so Lee, get in the shower. Nowwww! I’m already dreaming of doing a Blyth Spartans in the Karate Cup – reaching the Quarter Finals maybe against all the odds. Nan-night! Sleep tight.