Lee Gale

During the Nineties, I watched with unease as concrete columns were uprooted and replaced by aluminium hockey sticks that were so devoid of character they were practically invisible. It was then that I realised our ornate concrete columns were in danger of vanishing without a trace.

Match Of The Day makes a long-awaited return to our screens on August 14, at the start of the 2004-05 Premiership season. With the assistance of Gary Lineker, Alan Hansen and chief MOTD statistician Albert Sewell, we stand on our chairs and chant at other TV football shows, ‘Who are yer?’

Have you ever stood near a British pylon when you’ve been on your own? They’re quite majestic. On a breezy day, with its cables whining, a pylon can seem an invincible creature. Looking up, you wouldn’t be surprised to see its girder-head twist round like Talos to get a better look at the feeble human by its feet.

A beat aficionado chooses the tunes for a huge night. Your host: Arthur Baker

Today, on a warm, sunny Saturday – FA Cup Final weather – the Freemasons is hosting the London Skittles Championship, dubbed with firm tongue in cheek ‘the world championship’

The red-braced execs at Saatchi & Saatchi must believe Mickey on the Head & Shoulders TV ad has mass appeal. Disastrously, they’ve conjured up the most loathsome character since Crazy Frog

Jennifer Lopez can’t pour a bowl of Shreddies without breaking into a choreographed dance routine. The same seems to be true when taking her Fiat 500 for a spin

In his first ever column, Shaky charts a lifelong fascination with the vinyl format and urges us to save our historic record stores

Having once written that Brighton is The Guardian’s vision of The Prisoner, The Fall’s No.1 Mark E Smith turns his thoughts to the original spy destination

Bernard Sumner of Bad Lieutenant chooses the tracks of his life for NME in 2009, revealing a dislike of maths, why Ladyhawke makes him dance in shops and why The Clash were the pioneers of the rock-dance crossover